The Stoat
The Stoat is a deadpan clerk working at the Kiosk next to the Bank in Sala City. Originally from Canada, he maintains a stereotypically Canadian demeanor, complete with polite interjections and a perpetual aura of indifference. Though largely uninvested in his job, he performs his role with just enough energy to avoid being fired.
| The Stoat | |
|---|---|
 DALL-E Sketch of Stoat | |
| First appearance | Escape from Winter |
| Species | Stoat |
| Gender | Male |
| Age | Early 30s |
| Residency | The Kiosk |
| Role | Kiosk Clerk |
Personality
- Mild & Unbothered: Rarely gets emotional or animated, even in absurd situations.
- Polite but Detached: Always courteous, but clearly uninterested in engaging with anyone beyond what's required.
- Quietly Observant: He notices far more than he lets on but sees no reason to bring it up.
- Low-Energy Performer: When he has to act excited—such as for store promotions—he does so with the minimum required effort and a voice that doesn't match the energy.
Abilities
- Customer Service Resilience: Can endure even the most confusing interactions without breaking his polite exterior.
- Expert in Boredom Navigation: Able to keep himself occupied in total stillness for hours at a time.
- Accidental Zen Master: Occasionally delivers advice so dry and simple it accidentally sounds wise.
Appearance
- Fur: Light brown with a white underbelly.
- Eyes: Half-lidded, as if perpetually on the verge of napping.
- Clothing: Wears a faded red vest with a generic name tag (his actual name is never mentioned), and a toque regardless of the weather.
Relationships
- Dook: Doesn't understand Dook but doesn’t question him either. Once rang up a kaleidoscope and a bag of feathers without batting an eye.
- Flops: Finds Flops exhausting but tolerable. Responds to Flops' manic energy with slow nods and a drawn-out "uh-huh."
- The Bank Frog: Shares a silent rivalry with her. It’s unclear if either acknowledges it consciously.
Trivia
- Has never once left the Kiosk on screen, leading to fan theories that he might be fused to it.
- Ends most sentences with “eh?” even when it makes no grammatical sense.
- Once hosted a sale called “Mild Savings Week,” which offered a 3% discount on pre-used napkins and barely used expired gum.
- Refuses to sell lighters after 4 PM due to “a past incident he doesn’t wanna talk about, eh?”
“You want a receipt, eh?” — The Stoat